We have the script, you have the talent - lets make movies!! Follow the script choose a scene and upload your version of...
451 comedy sketches for actors, directors, moviemakers Flock idols
Search for ‘LYRIX’ to find 61 complete songs – [see list here]
Singers - download the vocal version together with the backing track, then upload your own version i.e. GET YOURSELF IN THE MIX! Video yourself performing the song live from your bedroom, studio or at your gig. Upload an mp3 file for a better quality recording
Songwriters / Producers – redo the entire song however you like Search for keyword ‘ADDsong’ ‘soundbite’ or to find 80 unfinished songs
These are the seeds of new songs that you can either develop into 3-minute songs or produce them just as they are: ADD songs i.e. short attention span songs (somewhere between a ringtone and a complete song) You’re free to change the melody, arrangement, add vocal harmonies - whatever you like, just finish them and upload them!
60 complete songs & 80 unfinished songs - musicians & singers
The following is a completed song, created using Logical Stupidity's formula for innovation.
We're the undiscovered underdogs from nowhere And we only got Two songs And this isn't even one of them Two songs And this isn’t even one of them Two songs And nobody knows who the hell we are You can hear we're seriously pissed off about something We're not sure what it is but you can hear it's something huge So bang your head like you know what's going on Just like you understand our frustration of coming up with only Two songs Click to play the song See music samples of our briefs
CHOREOGRAPHERS & DANCERS Using the e-book to search for lyrix to find songs (you can download free-book containing 20% of commercial e-book material for this)
Listen to a few samples of songs that need choreography more than others e.g.
Study the lyrics for inspiration and then…
DO A LITTLE DANCE, MAKE A LITTLE VIDEO UPLOAD TONIGHT, SO WE CAN ALL WATCH TONIGHT SING!
Graphic artists, designers, illustrators, cartoonists, photographers Use keyword ‘PiX’ to find all pictures that require your production. More specifically search for:
12) PiX/Grafix/cartoon: Sign on the front bumper of a car, next to a bunch of flowers: ‘in loving memory of whoever that was - if you have any information please call me on 09777 555 992’
9) PiX/Grafix/cartoon/Sign at hospital: ‘BOTOX’! ‘Botox recovery ward - seriously no comedians ’ (a sign showing a joker or a stand up microphone with a big red line through it] Or maybe: ‘Botox recovery ward - please don’t feed the patients anything that tastes funny’
PiX/Cartoon: ‘talk or drive - your call’ Frame 1 A guy talking on his cellphone, holding up a stream of traffic. Angry speech bubbles and honking horns coming from the drivers getting impatient with waiting.
Frame 2 The guy leans out his window and shouts back: ‘Do you mind? ! I’m on the phone! You can’t drive and talk at the same time!’
PiX/Cartoon: ‘he loves me’ We see an angry bunch of flowers staring at a girl who’s about to start plucking petals. One of the flowers screams: ‘He loves you! Now piss off and leave us alone’
PiX/cartoon/grafix/computer error message: Principle Upgrade ERROR: YOUR PRINCIPLES ARE OUT OF DATE Would you like to upgrade them? What’s new in Principles 12.6: YOU CAN ACHIEVE THINGs YOU NEVER THOUGHT WERE POSSIBLE
PiX/cartoon/grafix: ‘Religion Upgrade’ [to be done in same style of software upgrade notices ] The version of Judaism that you currently believe in is out of date. Would you like to upgrade? What’s new in ReJEWvenate 5.2? You can date shickses - as long as you teach them everything you know about being Jewish and how important it is to you 7MB
Weddings are optional and may be simple unpretentious affairs as long as you have mixed dancing 3MB
You can drive on Shabbes , as long as you’re in a restful state of mind and you drive to leisurely activities like golf and tennis. 16MB
You can eat whatever you like as long as you fast on Yom Kippur 6MB
Tsadaka (charity) is still 10% but it doesn’t have to be money. At least 10% of all joy you experience should be spread around 58MB
Upgrade your principles and experience life as you like it [sponsorship opportunity for Orange]
FILM PRODUCERS – search for ‘MoviePitch’ to find 31 movie pitches
TV PRODUCERS search for ‘TVshow’ to find 43 TV shows that for some strange reason haven’t been made yet
MUSIC VIDEO PRODUCERS– search for ‘lyrix’ to find a song that inspires you, read the lyrics for more inspiration, find a singer from this site (or even on your own) follow the director notes in the ebook, or ignore them, just make the video and upload it, okay?
To get you inspired, see some of the video snippets from the musical ‘Flopstar’
SPIN-OFFS
The award, called the EOX – Eye Opening Experience, is open to all email forwards, videos, pics & other essential distractive media that make you see things differently and make you ask questions about the meaning of life. The award itself is a functional golden lamp similar to the logo (Design competition now on - click here to upload your entry)
The EOX will be awarded at an OSCAR style ceremony, so geeks and freaks can also have a chance to dress up. Why? It’s time email forwards and other distractions that make our day should berewarded. Problem is – trying to track down the geeks and freaks who write these things is a joke because so many sites have the same content, each one warning of the seriousness of copyright offences. But an even funnier joke is the undeleted disclaimer at the bottom of the email from whence it came:
DISCLAIMER: This message is confidential and for the addressee only. You may not disclose the contents to anyone other than the addressee. Don’t even talk about it. You are especially forbidden from paraphrasing this disclaimer, adding any of your own material, or making fun of it in any way.
AS IF nobody forwards email forwards! That’s what you’re supposed to do! And nobody ever cares about the author; it’s always about the message: ‘Did you see that email about…’ not, ‘did you see that email created by … ‘ It’s always been that way long before email forwards: ‘Did you hear the joke about…’ not ‘did you hear the joke written by….’ that’s all about to change. In order to start handing out awards for authors of such content, we’d need to invent a tagging system, so here’s what I propose:
All content inspired by this book needs to be labelled with your name, and include the www.logicalstupdity.com website and category you’re entering, as described by the ebook. That will make it eligible to win a big prize of some sort, depending on who the sponsors are. (Interested in sponsoring a prize? Click here)
For now, if I’m using your product, image or pic as an example of a specific type of innovation or logical stupidity, then mazaltov, you’ve become one of the case studies that aren’t made up. (All other case studies are new inventions that don’t exist yet) Your reward is that you’re getting free advertising – I’ve included a link to your site, book or whatever you’re famous for. That way I haven’t actually used your content in the ebook without your permission, just pointed to it by including your link. I would have included your link but I can’t be sure you’re the author.
And if I don’t know who you are then you’re still enjoying free advertising! But what’s the point of all this free publicity if nobody knows who you are?! HUH? Shmendrick! Best you identify yourself so I can link to your site.
If authors are unknown, then instead of pointing to any specific site that’s carries the content, I use keywords that should be copied and pasted into any search engine’s ‘images’ or ‘video’section e.g. to refer to a picture of a sheepdog playing leapfrog with the sheep, enter ‘leapdog’ or ‘bored sheepdog’ into the images section of Google or ‘Windows Live’search engines. This will bring up at least 3 copies of this hysterical pic. So who did it? Identify yourself so you can receive your EOX award! You could be the next Gary Larson, if you aren’t already.
The Logical Stupidity awards for excellence in time wasting has 3 objectives:
What makes an email forward worthy of an EOX? Did it give you an Eye Opening Experience? Did you instantly have to forward it to someone? Were you happy to be distracted from what you were doing? Did it make you see things differently or question the meaning of life?
Other names: Dawn Chorus , Tweet Factor, Get the Flock Out of Here, What the Flock!?
The scene: The Aviary, London Zoo. Various birds are auditioning for a panel of bird judges: Simon Owl: More interested in trying to wit and to woo the contestants than judge them Sharon Oztrich: Does her best to be as diplomatic as possible but can’t help laughing out loud when things get really bad. Louis Belch: A long-tailed tit who’s more interested in outwitting Owl than judging the contestants
All aspects of TV talent shows should be parodied: The background on the contestants , the long queues stretching into the streets to get in to the aviary, the waiting, the audition itself and the breaking of good or bad news to bird families waiting anxiously outside.
Two categories: Dawn Chorus - acapella groups doing their signature bird songs Solo artists - doing their versions of popular songs , backed by a live band of birds.
It’s the early elimination rounds of Flock Idols and we’re listening to the solo artists:
click here to read more.....
The scene: God has recently completed the universe, seen that ‘it was good’ , mostly, except for one colossal error: he forgot to install a belief system in mankind that would maintain peace and harmony between all his creations. Figuring the best way to install the belief system would be by word of mouth, he opens a dialogue with a few chosen prophets to see who could be trusted to spread His word around. After an intensive interviewing process involving IQ tests and the ability to slaughter animals , the selection is narrowed down to a final cut of 12. One of the prophets , Moses , is not happy with what he’s been asked to do, and seeks professional help to deal with his issues with God. This is where we pick up the action:
Put the writers of religions in therapy and have them battle through their issues with their psychologist, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Dr Phil, Jerry Springer (‘God talks to me’), psychic healer or whichever counseling method you know most about, because you’re going to ask the questions. Whatever field of therapy you choose, assume that it was just as advanced back then as it is now. Also assume that smoking cannabis was the most popular recreational activity at the time. Now start questioning, assessing, diagnosing, treating and rehabilitating various kinds of mental illness - it’s all up to you to cure your patient by explaining what the voices are and how they should be interpreted, thereby changing the course of history in the process. Choose any prophet and text you like, creating your own subheading under the title of ‘[name of messenger] in therapy’.
NOTES: Be very careful which questions you choose and how you frame them. In the interest of global safety and security, prophet Mohammed is off limits for this project. Also note that you’ll be slightly safer questioning your own Belief System than the Bs of others , but not by much. Always bear in mind that it’s a fine line between curiosity, comedy and blasphemy. Think Bruce & Evan Almighty, South Park, Simpsons. Life of Brian or any of your favorite authors who have put religion on trial without a Salmon Rushdie ordeal. We’re all dying to see your take. Remember that your ‘fiction’ disclaimer will protect you!! Now get creative and upload your version.
ROFR FOR FLOCK IDOLS
ROFR (Right of First Refusal) goes to The Bird Park i.e. Brad Bird of Pixar & Nick Park of Aardman
Next in the pecking order would be Dreamworks in association with Nando’s Chicken
And then comes you lot. If the above lot don’t get back to me within [a time to be specified] , then its open to all budding digital animators wherever you are by way of Internet collaboration. This is your chance to show what you can do. I’m hoping for the style of Pixar’s most hilarious ‘For the Birds ’, a snippet of which can be viewed at www.pixar.com/shorts/
Sponsorship opportunity for Pixar, Aardman or Dreamworks or if they’re not up for it, then we’re doing it anyway, so who’s in? Calling all animation artists and! investors who’d be interested in funding this. To discuss Flock Idols into existence go to www.
FLOCK IDOLs - The search for the nest big thing
Spin-off idea triggered by Turkey Masala:
A Spinal Tap style rockumentary with live footage from the original LIVESTOCK of March 2003. Organised entirely by animals , the concert was arranged to raise awareness about endangered animals and to campaign against animal cruelty and being eaten by humans. Contains backstage footage never released before and includes interviews with all performers.
Other possible taglines: ‘The wildlife are running the show’ ‘Welcome to the wildlife’ Don’t let the wild life become extinct - support LIVESTOCK Cook with love, not animals The animals are revolting
[Models – no positions currently available but as we try to fix this problem start figuring out how to sing, dance, act or present. Once you reckon you can, then…]
Search for ‘MMovies’ (Meshugganah Movies) to find 451 comedy sketches and more specifically, search for ‘dilog’ to find sketches involving dialogue Follow the director notes and get yourself in the mix!
By all means send in your resumes but what’s way more important is: ‘can you handle this particular gig?’ This means that if you’ve always wanted to act, present, be a stand up comedian or sing, but were never good enough to make the cut, this is your chance to show what you can do. Of course if you’re a seasoned pro who just happens to be in-between gigs or getting bored doing the same show night after night, then this is also an opportunity to reveal your true colours – by trying out some new material.
Roles to play:
Be aware that any video you upload under influence of ART can and will be used as an interview for the clickumentary. So do not upload anything if you don’t want to be an instant movie star!
For 1&2 your inserted title for your clip should have your name and credentials that reflect your viewpoint e.g. ‘Name, Professor in Cognitive Psychology, Oxford University’
If you’re not officially knowledgeable then you must still insert credentials that reflect your viewpoint e.g. ‘Clueless twat just adding his two cents - Institute of Destructive Criticism’ or ‘Some knowledgeable guy who knows it and is clearly up his own arse - Institute of Shut Your Face’
The reason for your title is so viewers can distinguish between your opinions and mine i.e. those expressed in Logical Stupidity. If you’re going with mine, i.e. category 3 (highly recommended if you want to be considered for the stage show) you should follow the following guidelines:
To identify all links and interviews as the intellectual property of Logical Stupidity, all credentials should be created using the following formula:
‘[your name] - Professor of X Institute of Y’
where X = any subject matter from the ebook and Y = any other subject matter from the book
Examples
Name - Professor of Clintonian Metaphysics, Institute of Nateral Thinking
Name - Professor of Thought Accountancy, International School of PAFYAFFING
Name - Professional Daydreamer, University of Existential Innovation
Name - Professor of Comedianism, Institute of Logical Stupidity
Name – Professor of professional bullshitting, Institute of UTTA BS
Should you think of a better way to say something I’ve said (quite likely, since you’ll notice the ebook requires extensive editing) then your title should be: Name, Professor of Parafrazing, Institute of [insert the chapter you just paraphrased]
You don’t have to call yourself a professor but the point is, whoever you are, you’re always going to be an expert in your field. This is partly because we’re challenging academia and partly because we’re sort of doing a parody of the movie ‘What the bleep do we know’ I love the title because it reflects the sentiment of Logical Stupidity: With all the knowledge that we’ve accumulated we still know nothing about the meaning of life. But if we really know nothing then why are we only hearing from professors and scientists? What the bleep do they know? Isn’t their guess as good as yours, or even mine? This is what logical stupidity is all about – being stupid in a logical sort of way: ‘Stupid’ only because you’re dealing with the unknown entity of ‘what if’ ‘Logical’ because it’s based on your version of reality i.e. what’s logical to you
Bridging the gap between the two is how innovation takes place and what this documentary is all about.
So for presenters, here’s the summary: Buy the ebook, search for a bit you think is funny or that moves you in some way, learn it, video yourself presenting it and post it on this site. Or you can choose a section that’s so not funny it’s just wrong, in which case this is your chance to tell me exactly how stupid I am. But you’ll have to tell me in a most hysterical or innovative way, because that’s the theme of the show: It appears that this particular luniverse we’ve all temporarily landed in appears to work in opposites - both comedy and innovation come from Observations Of Pure Stupidity (the OOPS). Once you’ve found your OOPS it fires you up to say, make or do something. The creative process, the expansion of the universe and progress in general is driven forward by these opposing forces. Any questions? Upload a video of you asking me a ridiculous question and I’ll give you a clever answer, or ask me an intelligent question I’ll give you a stupid answer.
If you’re not that serious then time-wasters are also welcome. Don’t bother buying the book but rather video yourself doing a monologue of any section of this website.
Hi, my name is Osama Bin Laden, I’d prefer to keep my location secret if that’s okay with you. If I can firstly thank youtube and CNN for this opportunity - so much easier than the whole cave production thing. Anyway this question is for all of you: after I hit you guys with 911, president Bush promised to smoke me and my friends out my holes ... well that has like so not happened! 6 years on and I’m clearly very much alive - wooohooo! hi five! [slaps the hand of the guy in the cubicle next to him in the Internet café] and well, basically you guys have plenty of reason to be nervous. So I’d like to know how you pussies plan to find me, and if you’re still serious about smoking us out of our holes? The question goes out to any of you...
Everything you upload is part of a documentary about the creative process that tracks the origin of ideas i.e. we’re dealing with the psychology, theory & practice of innovation
Why would I do such a thing?
But wait that's not all - you haven't spent any money yet! Here's your motivation for spending £20 to sign up:
Since you can’t find solutions unless you have problems , confusion, uncertainty, the unknown, stupidity, this is what we’re searching for. The formula provides you with 217 ways to navigate through all kinds of nonsense in order to innovate.
See example of a comedy sketch & moviepitch. Here is one of 451 comedy sketches , though they’re not all this long!
I don’t want to upload anything - I just want to get inspired to create my own ideas which I’ll keep to myself. Thanks for the inspiration!
Use keyword ‘sparx’ to find 217 ways to be instantly inspired to create your own ideas